An Etard Haiku

Some dumbass posted to alt.raves recently (and also crossposted to a few poetry newsgroups) the question, "Should etarded people be euthanized?"

In order to answer the question and remain on-topic, I have composed the following Haiku:

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I live in terror
The Law says "Kill the Etards"
Junglist holds the gun

His shadow engulfs
His bulk is blocking the sun
He thumbs the hammer

I smile stupidly
Jaded Junglist does not care
I'm too dumb to know

I piss in my pants
Not because I fear Junglist
I'm just etarded

A flash of bright light
He shot me in the kneecap
Just to be a prick

I beg for my life
"Uh muh muh muh uh uh muh"
That's how etards talk

Junglist laughs at me
I'm bleeding on my glowsticks
That son of a bitch!

Junglist aims at my head
But then turns and walks away
Why won't he kill me?

"You'll bleed to death soon"
The man who shot me chuckled
"Why waste a bullet?"

I deserve this fate
because I am etarded
I'm not a big loss

Things could be much worse
At least I'm not from Portland
That would REALLY suck

Everything goes black
I wake up in Hell because
God hates etards too.

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Okay, okay, I have to admit. I didn't originally write this thing and it originally was about something else but it was just too much to pass up. The credit really goes to Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume.

Have a nice weekend.